The Dangers of not involving your family in your marriage/union in an African Culture

Marriage is a legally and socially recognized union between two individuals that establishes rights and obligations between them, their children, and their in-laws. It is a multifaceted institution that plays a critical role in personal lives and societal structures. It involves emotional bonds, legal commitments, and social recognition, all of which contribute to its enduring significance across cultures and time.

After seeing and hearing different stories of not involving your family in your marriage/union, we decided to have an exclusive interview with an elder to find out what could be the dangers of not involving your family in your marriage.

Watch:Soiebi & Ebenezer Wikina display Kalabari & Ogoni Culture in their wedding entrance 

See excerpts below;

G.A interviewer: What are the dangers of not involving your family when getting married?

Elder: As a young person, it is not advisable to exclude your family when getting married. Doing so can affect both the bride and the groom emotionally. Your parents, who often do not have much to occupy them at this time in their lives, might feel left out and unhappy. This exclusion can lead to various emotional strains. For instance, some members of the bride’s family might not give her the respect she deserves, and similar issues could arise from the groom’s family. There may come a day when someone from his family remarks, “After all, your family did not accept our son marrying you,” which could cause unnecessary trouble and discord.

Moreover, when your parents are not involved or do not visit you, it can lead to feelings of isolation and sadness. For example, if you have a child and your mother is not there to help you, it can be quite challenging. Your children may also miss out on the opportunity to visit their grandparents, which is not ideal. Therefore, it is crucial to seek and have the consent and involvement of both families in your marriage.

While in some cultures, like in Western societies, people may not place as much emphasis on familial involvement, the emotional impact remains significant. Family is always family, and having both families come together can bring much joy and support. This unity is essential for a happy and harmonious marriage.

G.A Interviewer: Does it attract any form of curse in various traditions?

Elder: In some traditions, excluding your family from your marriage can indeed attract a curse. It’s considered disrespectful because your mother, who carried you for nine months, deserves to give her blessing as you go to your husband’s house. This blessing is seen as a vital part of the marriage process, ensuring harmony and good fortune in your new life. Not receiving this blessing can be viewed negatively and might bring about misfortune according to some cultural beliefs. Thus, involving your family is not just a matter of emotional well-being but also of cultural and spiritual importance.