Chidera story: African parents and parenting do they need a manual?
When Chidera’s video circulated and went viral online everybody had their opinion on the boy and his behavior for the action he displayed.
Chidera came online and narrated his own side;
My actions as seen in this video wasn’t isn’t because of “disagreement” or a “passport” issue as my mum describes in the video. My mum is a very abusive, aggressive and violent person… and she has been all my life.
When I say aggressive and violent, I am not exaggerating… I have endured plates/knives thrown at me. I even have to remove my mattress and put it up to the door when I sleep for fear she will do something to me in my sleep as she frequently threatens to.
I have kept all of this very private… not even my friends and good friends knew. So I was in shock to find this video circulating the internet. I have tried talking to her about it but she is to deep in her “Nigerian culture” to ever listen and ends up having aggressive fits She then left me no other choice when she kicked me out of the house about over a month ago to report myself in. This how social workers and Gardaí were brought in. I was moved to numerous places over the duration of this month and feared going back to her abuse.
But after a conversation from the man and the woman seen in this video, I decided to go back home and make it work with my mum (with my social worker present of course). Unfortunately, as you all can see this “peace” didn’t last long.
The day of this altercation, I had indeed asked for my passport to fill out college applications But my mum wasn’t at all cooperative… in fact at this point … she had been ignoring me in the house and refusing to feed me I was cycling to my friends house daily to eat.
So to avoid one of her violent outbreaks I went and looked for it myself without her knowledge. When I couldn’t find it I did go back to her to ask her for it again… where she then began to be aggressive and violent trying to physically lift me -!: remove me from the room. She was groping slapping and punching me… and obviously I will not fight my own mother back so I told her to stop or I would begin to break things At this moment that was the only way I saw, for me to get her to stop without being violent back to her .. however she continued So I broke a few things like hairdryers ( we were still upstairs at this point) and my little brother called the guards The guards arrived and seeing as how they could resolve the issue they warned both me and my mother to stay away from eachother till Tusla were notified(again) The guards so made their way downstairs and I accompanied them because I wanted to make myself food… ( my mum was still present through all of this and didn’t voice her disagreement to me making food) The guards told me to make my food and go straight to my room. So the guards left and I was downstairs making food… when my mum came rushing downstairs hysterical… telling me I had no right to touch her food , fair But I asked her why she didn’t say this when I told the guards I was going to make food. She got angry and turned off the burner and trying to manoeuvre my way out of another altercation I went to the fridge to eat a cold leftover … she slapped it out of my hand. What she did next was what provoked the actions you see in this video. She took powdered pepper and threw it in my face… and while I was still disoriented she grabbed a moping stick and reapeatedly beat me with it … she then grabbed me and bit me I still didn’t retaliate or fight back. After this vicious attack she then proceeded to call the three adults featured in this video, her exact words were “You better get here before I kill Chidera” They were there in the next 5 minutes. I had to take off my t shirt and soak it and put it on my face to cool the pepper. At the moment I just felt sheer rage and instead of getting physical or aggressive with my mum … I decided to trash the kitchen as u see in this video. Looking back at it… it might not have been the best solution but I didn’t know what else to do. The guards were called again and they returned just 30 minutes after they had left and detained me. I was put into emergency care And I have been in foster since that day last week. I feel nothing towards this family other than pure disgust and hatred for the way they all treated me ( my brothers and fathers included) And I don’t think I can ever bring myself to ever reconcile with them .. I have changed my number and deleted all contact with them. I have kept all this private to protect all of us as we can all be negatively be impacted by this. But for me to come on social media and receive nasty death threats and messages and finding out they posted this video and painted the narrative completely differently. You might all ask me why I didn’t correct my mother’s grossly false version of the events while I was smashing things. The answer is I was so consumed by rage and anger after what had just happened to me. And as u can see in the video I didn’t care about anyone. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that is fine But as of now the family is dead to me and all I’m focused on is my future and college. Again I would like to sincerely thank everyone who knew that there was more to the story and knew the truth and supported me.
Overtime the African
parents are known for parenting their children in a very hard way and this is what is happening in Chidera home as explained by him. Also we can’t deny that they actually take parenting too tough which is why we asking do you think they need a manual for parenting???
Share your thoughts…..
Also do you think Chidera leaving home was a good decision.
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